How I Saw Myself in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

I started The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives out of pure curiosity. I wanted all the tea. The headlines about Mormon swingers had made their way to my corner of the internet, and I was genuinely interested in what all the chatter was about. I thought I’d be watching something far removed from my world. Something entertaining, a little scandalous, maybe even a little surprising.

What I didn’t expect was to feel deeply affirmed.

And not because I’ve lived their exact experiences, but because underneath the adorable content creation, cultural expectations and faith language, I recognized something familiar. These women weren’t all that different from me. They were working through their identity, navigating the weight of expectation, and figuring out what works for them now that they’re older, wiser, and a little less interested in performance.

So today I’m sharing three reasons why The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives resonated with me: the honesty, the evolution, and the freedom to personalize.

The honesty was refreshing and familiar.

From the first episode, I was drawn to Taylor. There’s something about her rawness, vulnerability, and tiny chaos that made me feel like I was watching a friend figure it all out in real time. She doesn’t sugarcoat things, especially not her own choices. She acknowledges where she’s gone wrong and lets the camera capture the messy middle of trying to repair things, such as her friendships, family dynamics, and sense of self.

Watching her reminded me that honesty doesn’t have to be loud or performative. Sometimes it’s just telling the truth about how you feel. About how hard motherhood is some days. About how your past still lingers even when you’re trying to move forward. About how loving someone, or co-parenting with someone, can be layered and imperfect.

Some moments made me laugh, others made me nod, and plenty made me whisper, “Been there.” It wasn’t that the show taught me something new. It just reminded me that being honest, especially as a woman in the public eye of her family, faith, or community, is deeply brave.

Their evolution mirrored my own.

One of the most powerful things I noticed was how many of the women were quietly re-evaluating what they’d been taught. Not with bitterness or rebellion, but with maturity, reflection, and grace.

I didn’t grow up Mormon, but I was raised in a faith community that had plenty of spoken and unspoken expectations. Be modest. Wait for marriage. Keep things presentable. And honestly, many of those standards shaped me in beautiful ways. They gave me structure, identity, and purpose. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve also learned how to personalize them. I’ve learned what still serves me, and what I can release. What I want to uphold, and what I can approach differently.

And in the show, we see these women doing the same thing. They’re not denouncing their faith. They’re just making space for themselves inside it. They’re figuring out how to live with conviction and clarity, even if it doesn’t look like it used to. That resonated deeply with me. Because that’s been my path, too.

They gave themselves permission to personalize their lives.

One of my favorite things about getting older is realizing I don’t have to do everything the way it’s always been done. I can keep the parts I love and shift the parts that don’t fit.

Marriage, for example, is something I love. I cherish being a wife. But it’s also a role that requires care and attention. The same with motherhood. It’s beautiful and meaningful, and also deeply consuming. Sometimes I’m thriving in it. Other times, I’m tired and overstimulated and not sure where I end and everyone else begins.

That doesn’t mean I don’t love my life. It just means I’m honest about how full it is.

And I saw that same nuance in the women on the show. Yes, they were still rooted in many of their original values. But they were also choosing softness when they used to choose rigidity. They were making different choices about parenting, relationships, careers, and how they move through the world. They weren’t breaking free; they were breaking open.

That kind of personalization—the freedom to shape a life that fits you now—is something I think every woman deserves. Whether you’re Mormon or Muslim, divorced or devoted, modest or modern. You get to evolve. You get to make your life yours.

What we share matters more than what separates us.

I didn’t expect to find kinship in a show about Mormon women. But I did. Because at the heart of it, we’re all asking similar questions:

How do I stay true to what I believe and still make space for who I’m becoming?
How do I honor the traditions I love without losing myself in them?
How do I love my life and admit when it’s hard?

So maybe the secret lives of Mormon wives aren’t so secret after all. Maybe they’re just like us: trying to live honestly, evolve gracefully, and build something sacred in the space between where they’ve been and where they’re going.

Did you watch the show too?

I’d love to hear what resonated most with you. Leave a comment, send it to a friend, or share your own reflections. Because these are the kinds of conversations that matter. The ones that remind us we’re more alike than we think.